On Saturday, The European went for brunch at Lantana Café, an Australian restaurant. I was waiting all day on Sunday to ask her about it but we were snowed under with work. I decided to ask her over lunch, seeing as interrupting her eating is always a good idea with no chance of backfire.
Me: So that place you went to yesterday, what was it called?
Her: (between mouthfuls of fried rice and paneer chilli masala) Lantana.
Me: Where was it?
Me: No, where was it?
Her: (munching) London Bridge.
Me: What was it like inside?
Her: It was nice.
Me: Yes… but what was it like?
Her: I don’t remember. It was a bit crowded. Weird tables.
Me: Weird tables?
Her: Weird table setting.
Me: What do you mean by that?
Her: The way the tables were set.
Me: But what was weird about them?
Her: Nothing in particular (I was about to lose my s**t here), just crowded and at weird angles.
Me: What was the decoration like?
Her: I don’t remember that. I had a lot of wine and processco. It was really plain.
Me: It was a brunch, yeah?
Her: Yes, a bottomless brunch.
Me: What did you have?
Her: I had smashed avocado with bacon, so sourdough, smashed avocado and streaky bacon. I added additional halloumi and chorizo. Oh, and a poached egg. It was so salty. I think I got water retention from that plate, it was so salty.
Me: Was it good salty or too salty?
Her: Well it was a lot of salty things.
Me: Was it good quality, what you ate?
Her: (munch munch) it was fine.
Me: What did you have to drink again?
Her: Prosecco, and then a coffee. I had to pay forty-eight for a little bit of breakfast and prosecco. I wouldn’t do it again, put it that way. It was nice, good company, but expensive.
Me: What was the service like?
Her: Oh amazing. There was a great Italian guy. A bit slow on refilling our glasses, but he was really personable.
Me: What that why he let you have bottomless drinks for three hours (not one and a half like the restaurant billed)?
Me: Anything else to say about it?
Her: No not really. It was more about the people than the food.
Me: Are you just saying that because you don’t want to talk to me about it any more?
Her: (munch) yes.