On Saturday, The European went for brunch at Lantana Café, an Australian restaurant. I was waiting all day on Sunday to ask her about it but we were snowed under with work.  I decided to ask her over lunch, seeing as interrupting her eating is always a good idea with no chance of backfire.

Me: So that place you went to yesterday, what was it called?

Her: (between mouthfuls of fried rice and paneer chilli masala) Lantana.

Me: Where was it?

Her: Australian.

Me: No, where was it?

Her: (munching) London Bridge.

Me: What was it like inside?

Her: It was nice.

Me: Yes… but what was it like?

Her: I don’t remember.  It was a bit crowded.  Weird tables.

Me: Weird tables?

Her: Weird table setting.

Me: What do you mean by that?

Her: The way the tables were set.

Me: But what was weird about them?

Her: Nothing in particular (I was about to lose my s**t here), just crowded and at weird angles.

Me: What was the decoration like?

Her: I don’t remember that.  I had a lot of wine and processco.  It was really plain.

Me: It was a brunch, yeah?

Her: Yes, a bottomless brunch.

Me: What did you have?

Her: I had smashed avocado with bacon, so sourdough, smashed avocado and streaky bacon.  I added additional halloumi and chorizo.  Oh, and a poached egg.  It was so salty.  I think I got water retention from that plate, it was so salty.

Me: Was it good salty or too salty?

Her: Well it was a lot of salty things.

Me: Was it good quality, what you ate?

Her: (munch munch) it was fine.

Me: What did you have to drink again?

Her: Prosecco, and then a coffee.  I had to pay forty-eight for a little bit of breakfast and prosecco.  I wouldn’t do it again, put it that way.  It was nice, good company, but expensive.

Me: What was the service like?

Her: Oh amazing.  There was a great Italian guy.  A bit slow on refilling our glasses, but he was really personable.

Me: What that why he let you have bottomless drinks for three hours (not one and a half like the restaurant billed)?

Her: Yes.

Me: Anything else to say about it?

Her: No not really.  It was more about the people than the food.

Me: Are you just saying that because you don’t want to talk to me about it any more?

Her: (munch) yes.