Me: (Chatting about her recent evening out with friends): You know what, I think I am going to capture this for my blog.

Her: What?

Me: It’s interview time.  The people love it.

Her: This is so stupid.

Me: So where did you go again?

Her: (Silence).

Me: The sooner you say the answers, the sooner it’s over.

Her: I’ll just leave. (I assume she means the room, not the relationship).  It’s stupid, it’s just the same as the others.

Me: So where was it?

Her: Heddon Street Kitchen.

Me: Where’s that?

Her: Close to Regent Street.

Me: And what’s it like inside?

Her: Nice.

Me: I’m going to be needing details.

Her: It’s a gastropub.

Me: Was there anything different or unique about it?

Her: I didn’t pay attention.

Me: What did you drink?

Her: Beer.

Me: What kind?

Her: Asahi.

Me: And you just had a burger?

Her: Yes.

Me: What was on it?

Her: Cow. Pig.

Me: OK.  You said it was expensive, so what made it expensive?

Her: Inflation.

Me: This is gold already.  Any particular kind of cheese for example?

Her: Cow cheese.

Me: What came with the burger?

Her: French fries.

Me: What were they like?

Her: They had a posh name* but they were very regular.  I am not sure what I paid for.

Me: And what was the burger like?

Her: Um, it was good.  Quite juicy, a nice patty.   Not too fat or thin.  It came with a brioche bun.  It was nice but not worth £twenty-two. No burger is worth £twenty-two.

Me: What did the others have?

Her: A roast, a salad, cod fish and chips.

Me: In general, what did everyone think of the food?

Her: The roast they said was lovely, but everything was so expensive. 

Me: How much did it all come to in total?

Her: With the wine, it came to £fifty. 

Me: For your share?

Her: Yes.  I paid £twenty for two glasses of wine.

Me: What wine?

Her: A Montalcino and a Barolo from Piedmont. 

Me: What were they like?

Her: The Montalcino was good; fruity and nice. The Barolo was more full-bodied.

Me: Did you have pudding?

Her: No.

Me: Overall, would you go back again?

Her: No.  It was so expensive.  There are far better options.  The service was really good though.

Me: I was going to ask you.

Her: Yeah.  They were really attentive.

Me: Anything stand out for you about the service?

Her: No, they were just attentive. You don’t get that anymore.  Everywhere else you just get regular service. I have no expectations anymore. (Shows me a video on her phone). Look at the yellow frogs croaking.

* I checked the menu online, they were Koffmann’s Fries.