Originally posted 5th April 2012.

Oh dear Alex Hope, who’s been a naughty boy then?!
This guy is a 23 year old ‘currency trader’ who was nicked today because he’s been ‘currency trading’ without a license, or something. Anyway my liberal use of quotations is because pretty much every aspect of Hope’s life looks like horrible, horrible lies.
Take this tab for over £200,000 worth of drink he allegedly paid for in a Liverpool nightclub called the Playground. Regardless of whether the bill is real (rumours suggest that his friend worked at the nightclub), the whole thing is pretty epic. I don’t know what is funnier; the £125,000 Nebuchadnezzar of Ace of Spades, the £42 lemonade subtotal or 10% service charge coming to £18,540. As Hope would analyse- that’s $29,344, €22,456 or even 818,860 Mozambican Meticals.
*I am probably obliged by the FSA to state that these rates are accurate as of 5th April 2012 at 2330 BST…
So what’s the point to all this?
As you may realise, I love food. There is something unashamedly decadent about a ridiculous check. I love looking at them; maybe due to envy but also it is a great insight as to how someone’s mind works. I do think the way someone orders in a restaurant says a lot about them and their personality; and by saying this, I do not mean that someone who spends less than £40 on a meal is an idiot. That isn’t how it works.
Take the Russian bankers who rocked up to a bistro, spent £20 on burgers and close to 10 grand on red wine. Looking at their check (via City AM’s Bill of the Week feature) was entertaining, in the same way that watching Jackass is entertaining; bloody leave ‘em to it.
I’m all for a good meal, but I’m all for good value more. A few of us were fortunate enough to go to Heston Blumenthal’s Fat Duck last year and our bill was eye-watering. It was a one off, incredible meal that was worth every penny. Alas, I am just as happy sat in Burger King- hungover- having spent £5 on a Bacon Double Cheesburger meal.
Value for money is all about being happy, and that’s the bottom line. To realise this, do what you need to do and buy what you need to buy. A decent meal does it for me every time, but if you can look a veal pizza in the (metaphorical) eyes and walk away then that’s cool too. Maybe Alex Hope’s big champagne bottle made him happy, but I’ll say one thing- there was no food on that bill so he must have been RAVENOUS.
All this said, maybe Alex wasn’t far off the mark; after all, if the drought keeps up momentum I’m pretty sure by August, we’ll be spending that kind of money on tap water.
