Originally posted 11^th April 2013

I am never one to plug the unpluggable, or market the meaningless, but something needs to be said about Starbucks’ Guatemala Antigua coffee.  S.G.A. – I cannot spell Guatemala off-by-heart and hate surrendering to spell-check – is a fresh blend, kicking off a brave new dawn at the Green Mermaid where the masses and me can choose our espresso before embarking on the rituals of “Shall I have a Venti?  I have already had six this week”

I first ordered S.G.A. accidentally on purpose the other day.  A lady in the queue ahead of me called Stephanie ordered one; since I was feeling particularly unimaginative that morning I decided to follow suit.  I know the lady was called Stephanie as she loudly announced that her name was “Stephanie, with a P.H.”

The barista (with a sense of humour) wrote “Stefanph” on her cup.

I am loathe to reel off the Starbucks bollocks about S.G.A., such as the fact that it is a “taste adventure”, or that it takes “140 years to brew a cup”.  Well, it does if you make the catastrophic error of visiting their branch on North Audley Street.  According to Starbucks legend, S.G.A. is cultivated in the shadow of the three-thousand metre, imaginatively-named ‘Volcano of Fire’, a lary little cad of a mountain whose incessant eruptions (the latest was last year) make for supreme coffee conditions.

Bollocks served up, I’ll sign off by saying that S.G.A. costs an extra twenty pence but for that you get the Starbucks taste but with a less bitter, richer roast and a subsequent and elegant float into the chocotastic.  Therefore, I concede that it is indeed a “taste adventure”.  Bastards!  *Punches the air*